52 JaNoelisms

Happy February 13th!! (Friday the 13th at that...)

For JaNoel's 50th birthday, Becca had a brilliant idea to collect witticisms and funny life rules from those that knew JaNoel best. There was a huge response to Becca's request and we wound up collecting far more than 50 "JaNoelisms."

So...in honor of Ms. JB's 52nd birthday I'm posting 52 JaNoelisms that Becca collected in 2007:

1. Rule Number One: No one here knows us......so feel free to act like a crazy person!
2. Rule Number Two: In case of fire, eat your dessert first!
3. A Dad's job is to drive us around and take our picture.
4. Some people are just all dollars and no sense! (I'm sure she didn't mean any of us :-)
5. Never "should" on yourself, it just ain't pretty!
6. If it works, copy shamelessly!
7. All tours include food.
8. All tours exit through the gift shop.
9. My face, it ain't no star, but I doesn't mind it…myself is behind it, it's the folks in the front get the jar ….or for short, "The guy in the front gets the jar."
10. If you are looking for something…"Don't worry, it will be the last place you look." (Because you stop looking for it when you find it :-)
11. We had children so they could do the housework!
12. Sing at the table, whistle in the bed… the bogey man will get you by the hair of your head! (This one used to scare Leah!)
13. When people asked what they could do for her…"Pray!! I need the prayers and you could use the practice!"
14. Susan, pay your dues…Professionals belong to professional associations no matter how unprofessional the professional association might be.
15. After falling down a hill at a Buffet Concert… "I had a Gravity Storm!"
16. "Malls should have Nap-O-Ramas!" You could rent recliners by the hour, check your bags, and have a little nap before you continue shopping.
17. Bethy, I've been thinking. (I always knew a scheme was cooking)
18. Don't worry, you'll do just fine. (Refer to #16)
19. Just because you say or think something bad, doesn't make it happen.
20. I'm soooo pretty, I'm the prettiest I've ever been.
21. This is my New Normal!
22. There's always a reason to eat chocolate... if not, make a reason!
23. Never drink wine before its time.... IT'S TIME!
24. Birthdays are for celebrating!
25. Start with desert; it's more fun that way!
26. As my ship goes out to sea, I scoop my soup away from me!
27. A whistling woman and a crowing hen…both shall come to no good end!
28. Chew, Chew, Chew like Ian McQueen! (We went to preschool with him and apparently he was a good chewer J)
29. Ring, Ring, Ring! I Pink up the Phone… "Yellow! Statue?" (I think this originally started as a joke my sister told my mom. She used to say it when we called her.)
30. When you asked if she knew the weather forecast… "No, but I know the Mexican Weather: Chile Today – Hot Tamale!"
31. In case of emergency, always wear clean underwear!
32. Marriage is Compromise! Remember how I used to let your Dad dress you when you were little?
33. Let's use OPM...Other People's Money!
34. Small children and grown-ups alike who always want to do their own thing regardless of the rules shall be referred to as being on the DWP Plan...Doing as they Damn Well Please.
35. Money is a renewable resource, Life isn't.
36. There is no such thing as a used book.
37. Cakes get done, projects get finished. OR Cookies get done and people get finished.
38. Her School Teacher English: for lie and lay..."People lie and books lay," for good and well... "A good steak well done."
39. Halloween trick or treat candy is subject to "Parent Tax," and the parent gets to choose first!
40. She was fond of invoking Dr. Phil, especially when it concerned Leah (sorry, LJ!): "So, how's that working out for you, Leah?"
41. There really is no warehouse for orange highway cones -- the highway folks just move them around from place to place as a means of storage.
42. When the husbands and children are away, have fudge and popcorn for dinner.
43. It's good to go to a Jimmy Buffett outdoor concert in the rain because then you only have to buy one beer. Of course, this is good only if you don't mind watered-down beer!
44. Winnie the Pooh and Dory the Clownfish are sources of great wisdom. (Pooh - "It's time for a little smackerel of something." Dory - "Nope...Nothin' in my Noggin" and "Just keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming...")
45. Why have dwarfs if they don't do the chores?
46. Live each day to the fullest - if you don't then how can you expect God to bless you with more days?
47. From Charlotte's Web after Wilbur tells Charlotte he thinks she is beautiful: "Well, there's no denying I am pretty."
48. Don't Worry, Be Happy!
49. Move when your windows get dirty...that way you don't have to clean them.
50. You get what you get or you don't get nothin'! (a la Ms. Pat from A Step at a Time Preschool)
51. There's no problem so big it can't be solved when it means that shopping will be involved.
52. Terry! What do you mean you don't know how to 'do' layaway! Layaway is the salvation of the season!

Happy Birthday Ms. JB!! Love...Team JaNoel